They see me

Even though I have a lifetime gym membership, instead of going there to
exercise at lunch like many in my company, I choose to walk up staircases
at my building. On average I walk up about 40 flights daily. It's
fantastic for my cardio and my asthma. And it's a good pick-me-up that I
use to clear my head throughout the day.

Today, I did my last set of stairs after lunch. I went in to the rest room (something I rarely do but I'll write about that another day...)
after I was done and saw a former co-worker.

I was still huffing a bit so I explained to her that I'd just finished the
stairs. She said "That's great cardio but can't C get you to go to the
gym? It's only a couple of blocks away."

I hesitated a bit...trying to think up an answer that would protect my
secret identity as a fairly prudish person. And then I just decided, "Who
am I kidding? I'm almost 42, I'm not going to change. I need to celebrate
who I am in all my quirky, persnickety weirdness". So I said..."Well, I
don't go 'cause I hate the locker room." And she looked at me like I was
one strange and highly neurotic duck.

What is wrong with this truth?? I'm not a skinny twenty-year old with a
brick house body. I'm a middle aged gal who sags in all the wrong places.
I also happen to like my privacy.

I dislike seeing naked acquaintance with whom I work.
I dislike them seeing me.
Quite frankly, I'm surprised that there aren't more who feel this way.

I don't have a problem with this fact...not any more! 42 is going to ROCK!

The Next Not-So-Bad-things

Following up on the potential career trajectories of the last post:

Landscape Horticulture:
People talk a good talk about going back to the land and gardening is the
most popular hobby in the US but how many can grow a nice peach and make that orchard look right pretty too? The Princeton
Review defines Landscape Horticulture as a discipline that "involves
the design, implementation, management, and conservation of urban and rural landscapes". It's hard to combine all these things together but not
impossible. It requires a fair amount of study but no licenses are
required. Everyone wants their plants to grow and their yards to look
attractive but a surprising few of us have learned enough to go beyond
the nice lawn and well shaped shrubs and flower beds.

Why? It's a lot of effort to understand how nature works. There are
many set rules but most of us don't want to learn them let alone have
to conform to them. We want insta-lawns, flawless tomatoes and
perennial, ever-blooming flowers without maintenance. We want it easy.

This field (no pun intended) fits the 'lesser of two evils'
criteria fairly well. Low-entry threshold, high disinterest index for
understanding major principles combined with a certain freedom with which to pursue work. It would however require that I attend some hands on classes and necessity of dealing with anxious and subjective clients on a daily basis.


Copy Editing:
This used to be one of the most unsung jobs around until the book
Eats, Shoots & Leaves
hit the scene late last year. Grammar has oft been the province of the
curmudgeonly scholar, one who toils in obscurity but has steady work due
to the public's weak interest in using current grammatical standards or
style rules. Learning to ply this trade would require me to learn the
rules...but most are painstakingly documented by various manuals, websites,
and white papers (low-entry threshold).

Though I would be at a disadvantage due to the higher numbers who have
flocked to this career, the remaining resistance of the American public
to write and or speak correctly (high-disinterest index) still guarantees
work for the time being. There is also the problem of the vituperative
cadre of natives in this vocation who make it their mission to root out
low-level poseurs like me. Definitely an occupational hazard.

Astrology:
The draw of prognostication is without question. Who doesn't want to know
what's in store for them? Consequently, even though astrologers enjoy a
rather tarnished reputation as schisters, the public at large is fascinated
by the field. Since before Christ, those with an inclination for human insight
have read destinies in the stars so job security isn't an issue--a significant
portion of newspapers, magazines and tabloids include horoscopes not to
mention the huge raft of internet astrology sites.

Learning the in's and out's of astrology are governed by certain arcane rules
that can be learned, though very few take the time to learn the real
nuances necessary to be an able practitioner (Bingo! High disinterest
index and low-entry threshold).

Negatives include the low pay unless one has regular writing venues or
celebrity client gigs. There is also the issue of astrologers having to
deal with the fact that their predictions could be wrong, the consequences
of which could prove difficult, dangerous or perhaps even litigious.

The Lesser of Two Evils

When I graduated from college, with my questionable degree in International
Relations and my so-so command of the Russian language, I had absolutely no
idea who are what I was going to be. The fact that I didn't know in my
tender twenties what my chosen vocation was is not surprising. What does
cause me to pause now is that twenty years later, I still don't have a good
handle on this thing called a "career".

That's not to say I haven't made money at one job or another. I
have...enough to buy a house, take vacations, drive a nice car and purchase
nice toys. But I've made it through not by finding my niche and sticking
to it but by applying the principle of the lesser of two evils. It goes
something like this: I have no truly remarkable skills that distinguish me
from the next schmoe so I go for jobs where the learning curve is a gradual
slope and there are few who are interested in traversing this slope due to
working conditions, pay, prestige,etc. It is a constant that I hate all
jobs that I can get to a greater or lesser degree. Therefore any job that
I do get will necessarily be hateful but perhaps less hateful than the
alternatives available to me at any particular choice point The lesser of
the evil (hateful) jobs then becomes my occupation.

The hate that I feel for any job that I can actually get hired for manifests into a certain lack of motivation to excel in the field; thus the 'lesser of the two evils'
principle also contains the following corollary: I'm always looking for
that next situation, that next field that offers the same low-entry
threshold but high disinterest index. I've always got my proverbial right
foot on first base while I'm trying to figure out how to get left foot on
second.

Back in the early 90's, taking care of computers fit this bill perfectly.
Nobody much could be bothered to understand the intricacies of why a
machine wouldn't boot, why Wordperfect placed an extra carriage return at
the end of each page or why a print job seemed to hang. As an avid reader,
hermit and tinkerer, being a computer technician was a better fit than most
jobs I'd gotten. I didn't always know what I was doing, but then again,
no one else did either. My saving grace was that I wasn't afraid to touch
a computer...I wasn't afraid to break it. By tinkering with it and
learning from my mistakes, I had a 78% success rate...pretty decent for a
person who has no real love for what they do.

But in today's technologically savvy society, just getting by with an
offhand hobbyist's devotion to the profession is not quite enough. People
expect you to know something and the somethings that you must know are so
much more complex.

And the field of course is being buffeted by threats of outsourcing. I'm
starting to get mildly flustered about the next career jump...because
whatever it is, it won't afford me as much money, benefits and freedom as
this last stint has. What's a bump on a log to do?

Potential career trajectories: Landscape Horticulture, Copy Editing,
Astrologer

Deciding to Stay

Now that I'm set on staying, the weekend was a very interesting affair.
Deciding to stay means for us, among other things, loosening the purse
strings. We've been at our current location for over 6 years. Long enough
one might think, to know whether it suits one, or not.

So, in addition to building the shed
and shed deck previously mentioned in this blog, we contracted to have
major lot clearing for a portion of our land. It amounted to the removal
1/4 acre of brush, trees, and flammable grasses, an important annual task in our part of the country.
The result was stunning. The view out to the bay from the higher points on
the lot expanded dramatically.

There's an important quality here that I've noticed about this latest acceptance. I felt simultaneously sad (letting go of greener pastures) and elated (cessation of 'moving anxiety'). But, we couldn't continue to live in limbo. The freedom of keeping our options open was simply too dissatisfying. I've learned what Mum & Dad know: a homestead with warts is better than none at all. The famous Goethe quote says:

"Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now." (cliched? yes, but it has always worked for me.)

So, after six years of false starts, we begin our time here, at the physical location we call Passiams Lodge, now.